Who I Am
by MoonlightTyger
Summary: After an argument with his father, Luke finds advice from another source.
1. Part One

_This here is something I've been writing off and on for several months. My apologies for the hiatus of my other fics; I have every intention of finishing them, I assure you. Until then, please enjoy this one._

**THIS FIC CONTAINS FULL GAME SPOILERS, plus that of the Fonic Sight Sidequest.** If you have **not completed** _Tales of the Abyss_ and/or wish to spare yourself thedetails of the aforementioned spoilers, please **stop reading now**. Thank you.

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Tales copyright or the characters; I am merely a fan who enjoys writing about them. All rights belong to Namco; character designs (c) Kosuke Fujishima.**

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****Who I Am : Part One**

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The weather was clear, and the temperature was just right, not too hot or cold. By all appearances, it was a perfect day in Baticul.

But the beautiful day was merely a facade, as Luke stormed out from the upper level, toward the harbor. He had _had_ it.

The day had begun pleasantly enough. Ever since returning from Eldrant, Luke had acted as an ambassador of sorts; Natalia had Malkuth covered, so that left Luke with playing emissary to Daath and Yulia City, and of course, replicas. This sort of thing suited Luke well - he had grown to enjoy traveling and helping people, and of course, Daath and Yulia City meant he would be able to see Tear and Anise frequently (but mostly Tear), and Guy and Jade if he was near Grand Chokmah. The arrangement suited nearly everyone perfectly, and Luke gave his uncle no cause for complaint.

However, as time went on, some smaller, troublesome complications arose from the arrangement - the countries were satisfied, but things on the home front turned more and more sour for Luke, as his father, Duke Crimson Fabre, was becoming less and less pleased with his activities. Mostly, he suspected Luke's frequent trips to Yulia City were somewhat more than just "ambassador duties" - he had seen what was going on between Luke and that Oracle Knight, Tear Grants, and he was not happy at the thought of his son getting so cozy with someone "below him". Luke knew this, and had taken to avoiding his father whenever possible - he didn't want to be grilled yet again about his emissary "duties", lectures on why he shouldn't, couldn't and _wouldn't_ marry outside his social status, and lately, why the heck he seemed to be avoiding his own father.

Anyone, or at least anyone who understood Luke to a degree, could have seen the answer to that.

And that morning, all the tension that had grown over the months had blown. Luke had returned home from Rugnica the day before, having gone as an ambassador of sorts to see how the replicas on that continent were. Waking up and greeting his mother, he felt that the day might actually go peaceably for once. The Duke arrived at the table that morning and seemed to be in a better mood, at least until Luke opened his mouth.

In all honesty, Luke didn't really know what happened. He'd mentioned his trip and meeting up with Guy in St. Binah, then how he'd intended to go to Padamiya soon, and suddenly the Duke was roaring at him, all the old lectures about how he shouldn't spend time with people below him and exactly _what_ he was accomplishing as an emissary, if anything at all, or if it was just some excuse to shirk off duties.

And that had been the last straw.

He could comprehend his father's dislike for his spending time with people "below" him, it _was_ a common unwritten rule of nobility: interaction with common folk was purely business, nobles only courted and hung out with other nobles. Luke didn't like it - and it didn't mean he'd let it stop him from being with Tear; some rules were made to be broken, after all (as Jade would cheekily say) - but it _was_ a common mindset, generations old.

He could comprehend his father's dislike for his friends, they _were_ - save Guy and Natalia (and Anise, soon as she became Fonmaster) - "common folk". Though Luke never ceased to be disgusted and angry - sometimes verbally - at his father's attitude toward his friends, there simply wasn't anything he could do about it; they had all seen how the Duke was, and fortunately, they understood.

But when the Duke began questioning his duties as an emissary, that was it. Was _nothing_ good enough for this man?

When he was growing up, it had been Pere - then it was Tear, if it wasn't her, it was Anise or Ginji or Noelle; and if it wasn't one of _them_ it was some other subject that the Duke couldn't lay to rest. No matter that none of what they'd accomplished would have been possible - or at least very close to _impossible_ - without any of those people, but his friends had supported and protected him when his own family sent him to his death, _twice_ (he didn't count Tower of Rem, he had volunteered for that one). No matter the favorable reports and the good that was being accomplished, apparently Luke wasn't doing his job as an emissary. Like his father hadn't seen the reports, did he think Luke was just making all that up? What about Daath and Yulia City's reports from _their_ emissaries, were _those_ made up? No, darnit, he was doing a good job!

In any case, it didn't matter now. Upon learning that Natalia was in Chesedonia, he stormed away toward the port and hopped a ship to Grand Chokmah; he wanted to see Guy, and it wasn't like he didn't deserve a break anyhow. If he stayed in the Floating Capital for a week or two, perhaps he could regain enough sanity to return home and survive yet another onslaught from his peevish father, who was certain to be angry at Luke's running off, and to Malkuth of all places. The Duke would find _something_ to give him grief over, no doubt about that. Might as well enjoy himself all he could now.

The trip to Grand Chokmah was somewhat long - seven days, in fact - and it was with great relief and excitement when the ferry finally pulled into the harbor. His duties didn't bring him to the Water Capital very often (relations with Malkuth were usually Natalia's jurisdiction, and Jade and Guy took care of the replicas within this area), and when he was able to come, there usually wasn't a lot of time to "just hang out". So today, he was just going to relax.

The sea breezes were nice and cool as he strode through the city toward the Gardios manor. He only hoped that Guy was there - Luke wasn't the only noble who'd been running around with ambassador duties, after all. The fastest way to reach the Guy's manor - or generally anywhere in the city - was by boat, so he got on the nearest "water taxi" and headed toward the mansion quickly.

- - - - - - -

"I'm sorry, Count Gardios is not here," the butler at the door informed Luke, who was suddenly very depressed. "He left several days ago for Chesedonia."

"...Chesedonia?"

"That is correct."

"I see, thanks." Luke stalked off away from the manor. He was quite depressed, to be sure, but at least now he knew he wasn't the _only_ Kimlascan playing _that_ game; he supposed it _could_ have been just a coincidence that his best friend was in Chesedonia just when Natalia was, but Luke doubted it. Granted, Guy wasn't a commoner, and he and Natalia weren't exactly keeping anything a secret from her father, but the fact that they were _conveniently_ meeting up in Chesedonia still made Luke feel better about his own convenient run-ins with Tear.

But Tear was in Daath at the moment, and he was in Grand Chokmah with his best friend absent. Luke eventually began wandering the city, letting his thoughts tumble over one another as he walked. At half-past noon, his stomach growled and he stopped to eat in one of the city's restaurants; 1800 gald and one Shrimp Bowl later, he returned to his wandering, before finally sinking down onto a park bench.

He mulled in his head about whether it was worth the fare to Yulia City - on the slight chance that Tear had come back early from her current mission - but he finally decided against it. She probably wasn't there, but if she were, she'd see through him in an instant - and she didn't need to be burdened with this, too. They both knew quite well his father's feelings on the subject of their relationship, and unless they gave each other up...well, that was simply out of the question, as far as Luke was concerned, and he forbade Tear from thinking anything to the contrary. They would _not_ become the next Peony and Nephry.

Speaking of the younger Balfour, Luke had half a mind to visit Jade, but the soldier would have only just returned from Rugnica himself and probably wouldn't want to be bothered.

Luke sighed dejectedly; he felt utterly lost and he had no idea what to do. He thought about his father and mother, Tear, his duties to Kimlasca, and his father's words...and whether or not it could all work. He was sure his dad would just find something else to criticize him on....

"Well, well, what brings you to Grand Chokmah?"

So perhaps he was wrong about Jade wanting to be bothered...no, most likely the soldier wanted to _be_ a bother (ah, that was the one). Decked out in the attire that Peony had dubbed "Battle Master", the Colonel stood before Luke with the usual grin on his face. Luke wasn't exactly looking forward to being teased, but had to admit that he was actually glad to see the witty soldier (how long this sentiment lasted, however, all depended upon Jade's mood).

"Oh, hi, Jade," Luke greeted. "How have you been?" The Colonel shrugged.

"Oh, as well as can be expected," he answered. He sauntered over and sat down on the bench, next to Luke. "And what of you? This can't be an official trip, I'd have heard _something_ from His Majesty if it were."

"A guy can't just visit his friends?" Luke asked, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Now now, Luke - you really ought to know better than that! Telling lies again?" the Colonel smirked, "Guy has been in Chesedonia for the past eleven days, and I don't think you're here to visit me."

"...I knew you'd have just gotten back from Rugnica," Luke responded. "I figured you'd wanna relax."

"I see." Jade paused. It wasn't as though Luke were a terribly difficult read - and people-reading came very easy to the Colonel in the first place - so it only took about 0.001 seconds for Jade to come to the conclusion.

"It's your father again, isn't it?" the soldier asked. He knew from Guy about Luke's more recent trials involving love and "a commoner" - something the older man was all too familiar with. But Luke remained silent (confirming what Jade already knew). With a mighty sigh that was more for show than anything else, he asked, "What is it this time?"

Luke shrugged. "The usual," he finally responded, offering nothing more.

"Indeed," the Colonel returned. He wasn't nearly convinced, however - "the usual" had never sent Luke all the way to Grand Chokmah on what was obviously a whim (the boy carried very little in the way of luggage), "the usual" didn't cause him to be so depressed; perhaps "the usual" had a hand in this, but that was _certainly_ not all there was to it.

Luke wasn't opting to tell him anything else, however, and the two sat in silence for several more moments. At last Jade stood up. "Well, then, Luke, let's be going!" he said jovially.

Luke looked up, puzzled. "What?"

"Get up, we're leaving."

"...Leaving? Where?"

"Oh, come now, Luke - we can't very well have you sitting out here by yourself, hmm?" the colonel said, "We're going back to my manor, where did you think we were headed?"

"Your manor?"

"You are astoundingly dense at times. Guy is out of town and it wouldn't do to have the son of Duke Fabre stay at some inn; you can stay with me until he returns. It shan't be for more than a few days, a week at most. Now hurry along, these old bones need their rest." With this, Jade began walking away with an energy in his step to match Anise's - a person half his age. Luke sputtered indignantly.

"What rest?!"

- - - - - - -

The manor was in a far part of Grand Chokmah - half an hour's walk from Blue Palace, ten minutes away by boat - overlooking the ocean (not an unusual trait in this city). It was large - whitewashed stone, as was typical - with an archway over the front double-doors, and sprawling gardens, a few trees and a statue dotting landscape. Though not so grand as Guy's home, it was quite worthy as the estate of such a famous military family.

The two men strolled up the walkway and Luke realized this was really the first time he'd ever been to Jade's manor - normally he stayed either at the palace as an emissary or with Guy (usually as an emissary).

"Are you going to stand there all day gaping, Luke?" Jade asked with a grin. "One would think you had never seen a mansion before."

"Not yours...." he responded.

They went inside and were greeted by Cole, the butler. "Make yourself at home," the Colonel said lightly, "Cole will show you to your room; after that please feel free to explore - I would advise against entering the left wing of the basement, however; that would be my private laboratory and I can't guarantee what you will find in there...."

"Ah...ah...I'll just...stay away from there...."

"Good boy."

The room that Luke was shown was spacious and looked toward the back, over the ocean and private dock. "Master Casim is just next door," Cole informed him, "and Colonel Jade is just down the hall. Dinner will be served at six."

"Thank you," Luke smiled; the servant nodded and excused himself. Alone, Luke dumped his sword on a chair and flopped down on the bed. He was suddenly very tired, the stress of the past few days having caught up to him. Finally able to just relax for awhile, he curled up on his side, and fell asleep.

- - - - - - -

It was late the next morning when Luke finally awoke. Sunlight filtered through the curtains as he groggily sat up, pulling off the covers and glancing around the room. The grandfather clock in the room read at half past ten, and in dismay the redhead realized he had missed dinner. And probably breakfast, too, owing to the Colonel's habit of rising early.

"Stupid...." he berated himself. There was no need to dress as he had slept in his clothes, so he merely straightened them as best he could and headed downstairs to the kitchen.

"Good morning, Master Luke," Cole greeted as he entered.

"Uh, good morning...." Luke replied.

"Colonel Jade had to complete something at his office, but he should be back before dinner. Until then, you're free to do as you please. If you need anything, please let me know. Perhaps you would like some breakfast?"

Luke had been waiting to hear that one. He nodded heartily and followed Cole into the dining room.

If only his father could be so compliant.

- - - - - - -

The interior of the Curtiss manor was somewhat similar to everything else in Grand Chokmah - furnishings in shades of blue and green and turquoise, and whitewashed wood - but with splashes of other colors to add a uniqueness to the look. In some ways, it reminded Luke of himself: similar to Asch, but at the same time, his own person. A brief sorrow passed over him as he thought of his Original, but he forced himself to leave that train of thought. Asch would go absolutely bonkers if he ever saw Luke getting emotional over it - they had chosen their roles and succeeded in stopping Van, they had protected the people of Auldrant. Asch had protected Natalia. That was all.

But it was still hard.

Luke spent the better part of the morning exploring the mansion from top to bottom. The second floor consisted mostly of bedrooms (he'd even peeked into the Colonel's room...very Jade, complete with books and more books, as if the library didn't have enough!) and an upstairs common room. On the first floor, however - not counting the basement - there was the foyer and dining room, the parlor and the music room, an _enormous_ library, and a...ballroom.

"Jade has a...a _ballroom?!"_

Lunch was served - tuna salad, one that tasted suspiciously like Guy's recipe; Luke idly wondered if that was where the cook had gotten it from. Casim was there, too. The man had been staying with the Colonel ever since the Fonic Sight incident two years ago, which had cost Casim his eyesight. He had adjusted quite well, however; his hearing had grown sharper, and he was learning how to sense things through his fon slots. It was very difficult, he admitted, and there were many times he wanted to give up, but he was very glad he hadn't. In many ways, he could see things more clearly now than ever, even without his eyes.

They spent more than an hour talking, and Luke found that he could relate to Casim on a number of things. By and by, however, the blond excused himself, for he had things to do, but both of them had enjoyed the conversation.

The rest of Luke's afternoon was spent exploring the grounds - docks, gardens, etc. - and the basement. The last was actually somewhat boring, save for the kitchen, as it was mostly used for storage. With that, his exploration was nearly complete - the only place he _hadn't_ seen now was the Colonel's lab, the door to which he was standing at, vacillating. As foreboding as the left wing sounded, he had to admit that curiosity, boredom, and the fact that the Colonel was nowhere in sight did make this a very tempting activity....

"Not going into my _lab_, I hope?" Jade's cheery voice asked.

Luke jumped and turned around; the teal-clad soldier stood there with a pleasant smile on his face (only on Jade was such a smile a bad thing).

"N-no...."

"You're a terrible liar." Luke didn't know what to say to that, and instead just sort of stood there like an oaf.

"Oh, come now, Luke; do hurry up," the soldier insisted impatiently, "Dinner is about to be served and Casim is already waiting upstairs."

"What's for dinner?"

"It's a..._surprise_."

Luke shuddered inwardly, but a familiar smell was wafting through the kitchen doors as they passed by. "Is that..._chicken_?" the redhead asked, as he ascended the stairs. Casim was already seated at the table, and a big ol' fried chicken was in the middle. The noble turned back to Jade. "Did you plan this?"

"My cook actually plans most of the meals - though he does tend to garner them toward my own personal taste - but, if he wanted to make this, that's fine by me." Luke still thought it odd that the cook would make one of his favorite dishes just when he came to stay, but he wasn't about to complain. Privately, Jade wondered how Luke allowed himself to be fooled so easily; of _course_ the Colonel had planned it. It was true that the cook tended to plan the meals - after so many years, he knew what his master did and didn't like - but that didn't mean Jade never had requests.

The meal went by without much incident. Luke all but gobbled it down - prompting Jade to remind the boy to actually _chew_ the food. He recieved a dirty look in response...but other than that, it was quiet.

- - - - - - -

It was nearing eight o' clock in the evening. Luke sat on the small sofa in his room; the day had been a nice reprieve, but his problems were far from solved, and he couldn't help but dwell on them once more. Perhaps....

"...Brooding is not a healthy activity, you know," the accented voice came. Luke looked up to see the Colonel in the doorway - he had changed out of his uniform, instead sporting a white dress shirt and brown pants. A smile was on his face, as usual, but there was a hint of seriousness in the expression. Luke didn't respond; there wasn't anything to say to that. A sigh escaped from the older man's lips.

"Well then, why don't you just tell me what's going on," he finally stated. "You've come running halfway across the world on what is obviously a whim. You've fought with your father before, and it has never orchestrated _this_." Luke did not answer for several moments.

"....Am I...am I a good ambassador?" Luke finally asked, looking up at the soldier. "I mean, I know I still screw up sometimes, but...."

A silent flare of anger went up at the man who was never satisfied with his son - however, none of it showed visibly. "Well," Jade began in his very _unique_ way, "I can't say you're always the most _tactful_ of emissaries, nor the most level-headed, but..." - Luke ducked his head rather dejectedly - "...as far as _duty_ goes, I can't say I've ever met one so dedicated, save perhaps Natalia and Ion - and myself, of course." Luke half-cracked a smile.

"You're only ten years old, Luke," Jade reminded him, "and you've only officially been at your post for a few months. There are many ambassadors twice your age and not half so concerned or dedicated. Keeping the peace is not an easy task, you know; give it some more time."

Luke snorted, "Tell that to my father...." he muttered under his breath, although the Colonel still heard it perfectly. Luke didn't say anything else; at last, the older man sauntered over and sat down next to the redhead.

"Your father is criticizing your abilities as an ambassador, is that it?" he prodded. The replica was being stubborn as usual.

"It's not just that," Luke said. Then he changed the subject. "You know Guy's in Chesedonia, right? Well, Natalia's there too."

Jade's eyes glimmered with interest. "Is she, now? Well, that does explain Sir Gailardia's eagerness to go, then." _And Peony's willingness to allow him, he mentally added._ Guy was quickly learning that the Emperor was very agreeable where women were concerned; Peony would tease the poor man, of course (as would Jade himself), but such a thing was a small price to pay in light of what was gained. Jade recalled Luke also playing such a game...was this where the boy was going?

"...He thinks I'm using my position as ambassador to screw around," Luke quietly said, obviously speaking of his father. "The morning I left, he was yelling and asking if I was even _doing_ anything as an ambassador."

A flare of indignation this time, and had the duke been present, the spell would have been _immensely_ tempting. "What do you mean, 'doing anything'?" Jade said (calmly, of course), "He's seen your reports to the King, has he not? And what of Yulia City and Daath? Surely their reports and letters hold some evidence as to your activities."

"Not enough, I guess," Luke said, adding silently, _All the things I seem to be doing right and all he notices is what's wrong._ "It's never enough." The Colonel remained silent on this one for a few moments, considering how to proceed.

"Have you done anything to dispel these notions?" he finally asked.

"What can I do? You just named everything - the letters, the reports, it doesn't matter; he knows I'm doing a good job." The boy was silent for a moment.

" "Remember that we have standards to keep", "Desperate times call for desperate measures - but there comes time to return to normalcy", "It is not fit that a noble have anything but the best - of everything"." Luke's eyes had grown bright.

"That's all it is at home," he continued, "All it is. Lately I've just started trying to _avoid_ him, because he almost always lectures me, or grills me, or gets mad at me, or _something_. Then he got upset because I was avoiding him. So I've tried to keep busier outside of Baticul...and now...now he's not even happy with what I'm doing as an ambassador, even with everyone else's reports!" Though Luke had been reluctant to explain all this before, now the words came tumbling out - he simply couldn't hold it in anymore.

"I just...I keep trying so hard - so _hard_ - with him, to make him proud of me, all my life...A-Asch, too. But nothing's ever good enough for him."

Jade moved now to place a hand on Luke's shoulder. Obviously, this had been weighing on him for quite some time, and much more heavily than he'd let on. The fonist wondered if even Guy knew that it was to this point, and was very angry at Duke Fabre - that man was so darn self-righteous and a pompous-

The soldier was startled out of his thoughts by a sudden weight upon his left side. He stiffened; Luke had moved to curl up alongside him, his head leaning against the older man's shoulder. The soldier wasn't too keen on it (Jade was unaccustomed to such sudden contact, save from Anise), and it took a moment to relax...but eventually, haltingly, he wrapped an arm about the boy's shoulders, allowing him a listening ear. Luke's arms wrapped tightly around his waist.

"Tear watched over me, helped me become a better person. She helped save the world - it would have been _impossible _without her - and she's a descendant of Yulia...the Commandant's sister. But she's not good enough for him," Luke whispered now.

It was a rare display for the older man - perhaps because it hit so close to home; he well-remembered their grief at being separated - but he held the boy a little tighter as he responded, "She too, was the best person for him - always pushing him to do better. More noble than most nobles, sister to an Emperor's favored confidant. And she was never good enough, either."

Luke was suddenly very glad, and grateful, that it had been Jade who'd happened upon him the day before; if anyone could understand his position, it was the Colonel. Guy would understand too, of course, but Jade could comprehend it - or at least that particular aspect - in a way that Guy could not. Luke swallowed this in silence for some moments.

Jade, meantime, had taken to silent pondering once again. He could see how Luke had come running to Grand Chokmah. After all, wasn't it the instinct of a child to come running to its parent for comfort or protection? It was Guy whom had filled this role for Luke for many years, of course, but Jade did not mind stepping in once in awhile.

"...Jade?"

"Yes?"

"What was your father like?"

Well, that was unexpected. "Hmm?"

"Your dad. You know all about our families but we never really learned much about yours...beyond Nephry, I mean."

"Of course. Which would you like to hear about?"

Luke stared back blankly and Jade grinned in annoyance. "There are two people one might refer to as my father; my biological one, and my adoptive one. The latter wasn't the warmest of people, but he was a good man, if a blind conformist. I hardly knew my biological parents...my father was often gone, and my mother...well, I don't believe she was very fond of me. Not that I blame her, of course - I was quite the devil, after all. My father disappeared shortly before Nephry was born and my mother died a year later. After that, we were made to stay at the orphanage. You know the rest."

Luke should have seen something like it coming, but he still wasn't prepared to actually hear it. "I-I'm sorry...." he stammered, unsure of what to say. "I didn't...."

"It's quite alright, Luke," the Colonel answered, "you couldn't have known."

"Well, yeah, but...at least I still have my parents. And...well, I don't think that...I...I don't think my father _hates_ me...."

"Indeed he does not - quite the contrary, actually. I'm not particularly fond of your father myself, but, do remember this: regardless of the grievances and turbulances he has caused you, despite all that may or may not have occurred, he is trying to do what he believes is best for you." He paused. "Now, whether or not he thinks Tear is included in that...well, it's a common rule of nobility, as you well know."

"Why can't he just be happy for me?"

"I wish I had a more concrete answer for you. Your father, like my own - both of them - has never been one to break conformity.

"That said, however, I do think you and Tear have a much better chance. For one, there is no Score to dictate your actions; for another, she is _not_ your average commoner - being a descendant of Yulia, as well as a heroine to the world - that carries far more weight than being a sister of the Necromancer. Third, you have Natalia on your side."

"I guess." Luke was silent for a minute, then sighed heavily. "My dad's gonna kill me when I get back. First I storm off and hop a ship without telling anyone...then I turn up in Malkuth of all places. I am so dead."

"Hmm, yes...running off on a whim - period - was probably not the wisest thing to do. However, the countries _are_ on friendly terms, now, so any negative effect would be purely your father's own perceptions, and I do not believe he is that delusional.

"However, to exonerate any undesirable lectures - or whatever it is he'll have waiting for you when you get back - I would suggest that tomorrow you write away to your family to let them _where_ you are. At the very least, you owe that to your mother."

Luke shook his head sadly, "She's probably worried sick right now." Then he snorted. "Father will make sure I never forget_ that_, either."

Jade smirked now. "Oh, I wouldn't worry too much in that regard. Whatever troubles you may have caused on her part, she'll be more than willing to forgive you those. She probably knows where you went, anyway; she's more observant than she receives credit for."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Ultimately, Luke...I must say that you have a knack for beating the odds. Not everyone can prove Dr. Balfour's theories wrong numerous times in a row, not to mention helping to save the world and overthrow the Score. If anyone can successfully break a tradition - well, that goes without saying."

"I didn't do any of that stuff alone, you know...."

"Thus the key word, _help_." He paused. "As for present trials...I don't believe anyone's forcing you to do this alone, either."

Luke smiled then, before yawning. The Colonel cracked a smirk himself. "Ah, I suppose it's past your bedtime, then. My apologies for keeping you up...although it's only half-past nine...."

"Sorry...." he muttered, but his eyelids were drooping.

"Sleep, Luke. Who knows...perhaps you shall wake before the sun reaches its peak tomorrow, hmmm?"

"...Shut up." The soldier chuckled, and Luke closed his eyes. Then he opened them again, briefly looking up at his friend.

"Jade?"

"What is it?"

"Thanks." The soldier smiled genuinely this time, and Luke fell asleep.

* * *

**THIS IS NOT A JADExLUKE. (Sorry, yaoi fans - I've nothing against those who like it, but I myself am just not into that stuff.)**

Well, so here's the first part to Who I Am, just something I'd write up whenever the mood hit me. Hopefully Jade's not OoC - but I do think that he grows more amiable as the game goes on, so I think a scenario as this is possible. I hope it's not too cheesy, either XD

Anyway, thank you all for reading, hope you enjoyed it!

**NOTES:**

- The title, "Who I Am" is derived from finding oneself and learning to stand and make their own decisions: "This is Who I Am"

- The nickname used here for Grand Chokmah Palace, "Blue Palace", is taken from the name of the music track that plays while inside it ("The Blue Palace"). Please feel free anyone who'd like to use this; the track name isn't mine, after all XD

- It says somewhere in the game that it's faster to travel by boat in Grand Chokmah, so I imagine that nobles must have their own small, private docks (at least, in my universe they do XD; feel free anyone else who wants to use this concept as well).

- Casim is Jade's self-proclaimed apprentice (read: he's not really Jade's apprentice). (If you've done the Fonic Sight Sidequest, you'll know who I'm talking about. If you haven't, and don't mind spoilers, there's online gamescripts available to read.)

- Jade's butler, Cole, is named after the sidedish, cole slaw XD (The idea was inspired by the pronunciation of Pere's name, "pear").


	2. Part Two

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Tales copyright or the characters; I am merely a fan who enjoys writing about them. All rights belong to Namco; character designs (c) Kosuke Fujishima.**

* * *

**Who I Am : Part Two**

* * *

Even though he had fallen asleep at only nine-thirty the night before, Luke still slept until after ten the next day. Groaning as he realized the time, as well as the fact that he had slept in his clothes again, he slowly got up and made his way down to the kitchen.

"Luke! How nice of you to join us!" Jade greeted with a smirk as the noble entered the dining area. "Did you sleep well?"

-yawn- "Yeah, I guess...."

"Hey, Luke," a familiar voice greeted him. Luke looked up, then broke out into a large grin; sitting across from the canny colonel was none other than Guy.

"Guy!" Guy stood up; Luke happily bounded over to him and was caught up in a (manly) bear hug by the former servant. After half a second he pulled away, "But I thought you were in Chesedonia? Your servants said...."

"Well, I'm here now, right?"

Luke nodded cheerfully, "I'm glad." Guy grinned in return.

"Ahem," Jade's sarcastic voice broke in, "as _touching_ as this little reunion is, I'm afraid I have work to do." He stood up, "I'll be seeing you, but come by my office between twelve and one. Until then, you're free to stay around the house as you wish. Do try not to tear up the grounds _too_ badly when you spar, hmm?"

"Of course."

"Thanks."

"Toodle-oo." Jade left.

Luke's stomach rumbled then, and he scratched the back of his neck. "I think you'd better _eat_ before we do anything," Guy laughed.

- - - - - - -

"So after that, I just turned and walked out of the room. I just had to escape, you know?" Luke dodged a Demon Fang, then came in for a Light Spear Cannon. Guy leapt out of the way, before turning around and darting back toward Luke in quick swipe.

"I know what you mean," he said. He pulled out a Beast, and this one connected - Luke was knocked to the ground. Guy moved to slash down on him, but Luke pulled his sword up to block; after pushing against each other for a minute, Guy decided to change tactics and jumped away. Luke quickly got back on his feet and threw a Demon Fist in Guy's direction - like always, however, the blond was too fast for it.

"Anyway, so I left the room and then right out of the house to the castle. Then I found out Natalia wasn't there...well, I walked past the manor and just sorta kept going. Before I knew it I was at the docks, and the ferry was getting ready to leave. Then I just decided to come to Grand Chokmah and visit you...."

"Except I wasn't here...sorry, Luke." Guy was grazed by a Lightning Blade; but then he saw an opening. "Ah-ah-ah!" Before Luke knew it, Guy had flipped the sword from his hand. "_You _let your guard down."

"All this time and he can still beat me...." Luke muttered, then flopped down onto the grass. "Were you just messing with me?"

"Not at all," Guy shook his head, "You put up a good fight until that last stint." He sank down onto the grass beside Luke, and sighed. "So your dad's picking on your skills as an ambassador, now." He swore and then continued, "So when you found out I wasn't home...?"

"I wandered around Grand Chokmah for awhile, and then Jade found me and took me home to his place. Said it 'wouldn't do for the son of Duke Fabre to stay at an Inn', or something like that." Luke and Guy both laughed - "Soft Meanie" indeed.

"Anyway," Luke continued, "so he talked to me about it last night. He said that Father's probably just trying to do what he thinks is best for me." He went on to tell Guy the other things they'd spoken of - what was said about Tear and commoners, and about having a better chance than Peony and Nephry did.

"Anyways, well...that's what happened," Luke finished at last. "That's what he told me."

"Well, Luke...." Guy took a breath, before continuing, "that sounds about right to me. I'm sorry I wasn't here when you needed me, but...honestly, it's probably better that you ended up talking to him rather than me - especially where your dad's concerned. I've put most of my past behind me, but I doubt I'd have given you a solid answer like that. But...Jade's right about it, you know. Your dad does care."

"Leave it to Jade to be right - _again_," Luke rolled his eyes, and they both laughed. "So what were you two talking about this morning?"

"Well, Jade was just sort of telling me what happened," Guy explained. "Pretty much what you told me, except he didn't really give any details, just that it was because of your dad again, and that it was worse than usual. And he didn't say anything about what _he_ told you."

"Oh."

"Well...." Guy stood up, then turned and offered Luke a hand, which he accepted. "C'mon, Jade'll be mad if we stand him up. We'd better get going if we're gonna make it before one." They went down to the dock and boarded Guy's small fontech boat - all the nobles had them - before zipping off in the general direction of the military base. After little more than ten minutes, they had pulled into the visitor's docks at the base and disembarked.

"Hey wait," Luke asked as they walked to Jade's office, "how'd you know where to find me anyway? Why aren't you still in Chesedonia?"

"Well...don't tell Jade I told you, but...he sent a letter to me yesterday via Noelle - she was delivering something here for Natalia - saying that you were in the city and having a rough time, and that if I could come back, I should. Then early this morning, Noelle flew us back here."

" 'Us'? Is Natalia here, too?"

"'Course, stupid."

"Pfft." Luke raised his hand to knock on the Colonel's door, but right then, it swung open.

"Ah, so good of you to come," Jade grinned cheerfully as he let them in, and successfully sent a shiver down each of their spines. Immediately, he set Luke up with pen and paper.

"I don't imagine you've written that letter yet, hmm?" the Colonel (rightfully) guessed. "Why don't you start? The sooner it's written and sent off, the better."

"Letter?" Guy asked. Luke had forgotten to tell him that.

"....I guess it's about all you can do right now," he replied, after Luke had told him. "Well, besides going home, but I doubt you're gonna do that."

"Heck no."

Luke sat down to complete his task. "What all should I say, exactly? 'Sorry you were being such a jerk that I had to leave' just doesn't sound right...."

"Indeed," Jade murmured, "I doubt that will get you any brownie points. Why not simply explain that you came to get a peace of mind? That's quite true. Also mention how long you think you will be staying, and your intentions when you get back."

"But I can't go back right away - I have things to do in Padamiya a week from now, and _then_ Anise _and_ I have to go to Yulia City again and talk more about Fonmaster's new position. I'm just there to estimate costs, though...."

"Then tell them you'll be home after your responsiblities there are taken care of," Jade replied.

"It'll make you look a little better, too," Guy told him. "The Duke can't argue with that; Anise can back you up if he does."

"I guess that makes sense...." Luke turned to his task; Guy flopped on the couch and began messing around with some fon machine he'd brought. Forty-two minutes and six-and-a-half sheets of paper later (most of them crumpled into tiny wads), Luke was finished.

"There." He held the letter out with finality. "It's done."

"May I see it?" Jade held his hand out, and Luke gave him the letter, annoyed. He'd either find something wrong with it or make fun of something_ in_ it, or both.

"What should I do when I _do_ go home?" Luke suddenly asked. "About my father. I don't think this letter is going to pacify him totally. I mean, I know he's going to want to _talk_ about it."

Guy cussed the Duke's name and then said, "Whatever you do, take responsibility; answer all of his questions truthfully. The Duke hates cowards more than anything else."

"Yes," Jade agreed, "and be firm. Confidence is a powerful ally - you'd be surprised at what a difference it can make. I'm not promising anything, but I do think it will be a great help...."

Luke snorted. "Doesn't matter; with Tear, he won't give in. _I'd_ like to elope, but he'd probably disown me or something...and you know her. She'd never agree to it besides, and she wouldn't do it if it got me disowned."

Jade's expression was somewhere between his typical smirk and a genuine smile. "....Now now," he said, his tone both cheerful and teasing, "eloping is not the way to go. If you are to have your father's blessing, you must make clear your intentions from the outset - no hiding. That is highly unbefitting a noble, and shows a lack of responsibility. If anything, eloping would only prove your father's claims. Furthermore, he could turn around and say Tear put you up to it - I doubt that's something you'd want to put her through."

"Jade's right, Luke," Guy agreed, "And don't doubt for a minute that he wouldn't do it. I may not have the best impression of him, but putting aside my personal feelings....Do what it takes to get the job done, and all that. He'd do it."

Then Guy did a double take.

"Did you just say _elope_?"

Luke blinked. "Um, yeah...is there something wrong with that? I mean, I haven't actually asked her yet, but...." Luke looked at them, confused. Jade was smirking; Guy just stared at him with wide eyes.

"Um...Guy? Jade? What's the matter?"

"Why, nothing - nothing at all."

Guy shook his head, but he was still staring at his friend in wonder. "Nothing...I mean, I knew you two were serious, and I thought it might happen sometime...but I guess I didn't realize it was already to that point. So, you're really sure about that, then? You're ready to marry her?"

"I...I think so. No, _yes_. Yes, I am - I know I am. I mean, I know it hasn't been very long since I came back, and that it'll be a huge step and huge changes, but...I think I would break apart if she wasn't in my life."

Guy smiled brightly. "That's some passion you got there, Luke," he grinned.

"Indeed, even I could feel your intensity with _that_," Jade half-smirked. Then he sobered, "All the more reason for you to be a man about things when you return home. Be honest, be firm. Guy is right about your father disliking cowards."

"More than almost anything," the blond spoke up. "And if you speak to him with the sincerity and intensity that you just showed us...just be square with him. If nothing else, maybe he'll gain some respect for you."

"You really think? It doesn't seem like he has yet...."

Guy sighed now, "Well, we can hope. You haven't really bothered to talk to each other diplomatically, either."

"I guess," Luke turned to Jade and narrowed his eyes. "Okay, so tell me what I did wrong with that letter."

"Nothing," the Colonel replied. "It's actually...more than what I was expecting, so I see you _have_ learned a thing or two from your emissary duties, although your handwriting still resembles a cheagle's, more or less."

Luke glared at him. _I knew he'd find something to pick on_, he thought. "What, do you want me to write it again?"

"Well, you don't have to, but it might be more efficient if your parents did not have to try and decipher the words when they are supposed to be absorbing their _meaning_."

"Oh, give me that." Luke snatched back his letter, grabbed another sheet and began writing again, taking more care than before, steadfastly trying to keep it neat and otherwise legible. When at last he was finished, even he had to admit that the appearance of this letter made it more pleasing to read than his usual cheaglescratch.

"Well, that's done," Luke said, placing a stamp on the envelope. "Now to mail it."

"Well, let's go see Natalia, then," Guy suggested then. "She should be on the Albiore with Noelle. We'll mail it on the way."

"Speaking of Natalia," Jade began. He had that Cheshire-cat grin on his face again, and Guy all but shuddered. "I wondered why the sudden trip to Chesedonia. Clandestine meetings, hmm?"

"It was _not_," Guy firmly denied, "I just wanted to see her. And who told you she was in Chesedonia, anyway?"

"Why, _you_ did just now." (The dirty word Guy threw in Jade's direction only served to widen his grin.)

Guy sighed, utterly exasperated. "Gah, you're impossible. Anyway, Luke, let's go."

"Be sure to give Countess Gardios my regards," Jade called on their way out.

"_Gah!"_

- - - - - - -

The trip to the main docks took little more than ten minutes; Natalia was in the cockpit, chatting with Noelle. Both were delighted to see Luke; everyone had been so busy lately that it was hard to find visiting time. The young pilot, too, knew the basics of what was going on between the Viscount and his father. (Luke secretly wondered if there was a person who _didn't_ know...not that he resented her or anything, but he hated being the object of anyone's pity.)

"But I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time, Luke," Noelle said. "Duke Fabre always was sort of a hardnose.... Well, if you ever just want to get away, just send the word and I'll be happy to come and fly you anywhere you'd like. Not that I wouldn't anyway, but you know."

Luke smiled at her. "Yeah, I know you would. Thanks - I may have to take you up on that eventually." The last part came out with a bit of an exasperated chuckle.

That night, Natalia insisted they all go with her to a play at Ocean's Theater, courtesy of the Dark Wings. Emperor Peony and Jade were also in attendance, the latter pleased to find that there was no thieving to be had. The play was very good, funny, and for the first time in a long while, Luke was able to completely forget his troubles. It was nice.

- - - - - - -

Luke spent four more days in Grand Chokmah - really relaxing and enjoying himself, this time - before it was time to leave to Daath, Noelle cheerfully offering to take him in the Albiore. As they stood on the docks saying their farewells, Luke suddenly felt peaceful, glad. Sure, the hardest was yet to come, but that was okay. Nothing was impossible, that much he'd learned on their journey years ago. No, the "impossible" had already been accomplished several times over. _Nothing_ was impossible.

"Guy, Jade...thanks for everything," Luke nodded, then turned to board the flying machine. "See you all later." He climbed on, and the Albiore took off into the distance.

"Well, Gailardia," Jade smirked, once the Albiore was gone, "it seems we may soon have a wedding to plan for."

Guy whistled. "Amazing and...almost kinda scary, isn't it? How things change."

Jade smiled, "Indeed."

- - - - - - -

_Dear Mother and Father,_

_I'm sorry to have left you so suddenly. I am currently in Grand Chokmah with Guy and Jade, kicking back for a few days and gaining perspective. I know that just sounds like an excuse - don't worry, I'm not going back to being a lazy do-nothing. I really just needed to take some time off and think._

_Anyway, I probably won't be home again for awhile; I have duties in Padamiya next week, and after that there's a meeting in Yulia City with Anise and Teodoro. After that, I'll come back to Baticul and we can talk things over (I'm warning you now, Father, I am not promising on backing out of anything). Mother, I'm sorry if I've worried you; I hope you'll forgive me for running off so suddenly, and I'm sorry I can't visit you sooner._

_See you in a few weeks._

_Your son,  
Luke_

"See, my dear?" Susanne Fabre looked at her husband. "He's in Grand Chokmah, just as I said."

The Duke sighed. "I suppose so. That boy...." he gruffed. "Causing you to worry like that....What if you had fallen ill?! He cares for no one but himself!"

"Surely you know better than that," Susanne replied, "And yes, I could have become ill, but I did not. I was certain of where he went, even before you had the servants ask the ferrymen. Luke has been working very hard; he deserves a break just for himself.

"For all our sakes, dear," she said now, "please - hear him out when he returns."

"Humph."

* * *

Well, here's Part Two. Hope everyone enjoyed it; thank you all for reading!

**NOTES**:

- Yep, the play was by the Dark Wings. (It says in-game that most of them are performers, so, why not? XD)


End file.
